Showing posts with label ivy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ivy. Show all posts
Friday, January 21, 2011
day fifty-two
Tonight, around 7pm, I was sitting on my computer chair staring out the window at nothing in particular. I had a white backdrop on the clothes line, and I vacantly watched it twirling around in the sun.
7pm and the sun. It's an energising feeling knowing that the sun sets so late here in Melbourne during daylight savings. We are so lucky. And the sun just feeds light and life into my soul. I'm not a sun worshipper.... I'm whiter than the belly of a fish, so have to be vigilant about loving it too much. I've never been one to sunbake, I always feel like I'm burning even if I have sunscreen on. It's hard to enjoy it when you're a pale shade of white. But I love the feeling of sun in the air. Sitting just on the edge of it and letting its warmth soak into my pores. Feeling the enervating life it gives to my being.
I love photographing in the sun. Especially at 7pm in summer time. Because it's usually dinner time/witching hour/crazy time, it's so very rare that I can photograph my own kids at this time of the day. And I should more often. I should just hoik them out the back for a 2 minute shoot. But I don't.
But tonight I did. I asked Elliot, because he's usually much more compliant. And he agreed, but only if I could catch him first. And then we negotiated the terms all the way up the back of the yard. No more than 3 photos I promised, as long as he didn't pull a funny face. Buggalugs needed in on the action as usual. And I let her tag along because she'd give me the angry face if I didn't. And when we got out the back and Elliot couldn't face the way I wanted him to so I could get that beautiful sun on his gorgeous face ("my eyes hurt, I don't want to") Ivy filled his boots quicksmart. Yeah she had to blink, yeah she had to squint a bit, and yeah the photos aren't great. But I got what I wanted. The sun. For a brief 2 minutes, I got the sun on my kids pale skin. And it was golden and it was delightful. And squinty apparently.
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Thursday, January 13, 2011
day forty-four
We're on a toilet training mission. After a couple of pretend attempts and sometimes wearing undies and sometimes not, I decided that this week was as good as any to attempt the inevitable for real. So Monday was "the day" and we had a pretty average day. Most misses, and I think one hit. Then I went to work and Matt took over the shift... Ivy christened him with a poo from one end of the house to the other. And I was stuck at work and couldn't help, more's the pity.
But day 2 was very good, just one miss, including being out for dinner, so that was super.
Day 3 and she's nailed it, for sure. No mishaps at all, as well as a poo! My little superhero. We're up to day 4 now and I feel like I can relax a bit, and not have to count what she's up to. She's quite amazing really. And I'm so so proud of her.
So everytime she needs to go to the "tor-wet" we have a superhero run up the hallway all the way to the loo where she proudly exclaims that she can do it herself, wiggles onto the seat, does a wee and we cheer like mad things. Then she gets a star sticker.
She's my champion. She's so clever. And I love her squishy nappy-free bum.
But day 2 was very good, just one miss, including being out for dinner, so that was super.
Day 3 and she's nailed it, for sure. No mishaps at all, as well as a poo! My little superhero. We're up to day 4 now and I feel like I can relax a bit, and not have to count what she's up to. She's quite amazing really. And I'm so so proud of her.
So everytime she needs to go to the "tor-wet" we have a superhero run up the hallway all the way to the loo where she proudly exclaims that she can do it herself, wiggles onto the seat, does a wee and we cheer like mad things. Then she gets a star sticker.
She's my champion. She's so clever. And I love her squishy nappy-free bum.
Monday, January 3, 2011
day thirty-four
Today and tomorrow marks a couple of days of mourning for me. I don't make a fuss anymore. I just light my candle and go about my day. But 4 years ago today we found out during our 13 week ultrasound that we had lost our much loved and wanted baby. It was the very worst day of my life and marked the beginning of a very dark and very sad period of my life. I won't go into too much detail about that day 4 years ago, as it hurts a lot to drag up the memories. But the months that followed were very tough. We suffered another (earlier) miscarriage and we very nearly lost another baby. But we didn't lose that one, and that pregnancy went without a hitch to bless us with our darling Ivy.
Her pregnancy was blissfully uneventful after the 8 week mark when we thought we'd lost her. I was happy as a clam. I found out I was having a daughter and wept tears of such pure joy that I thought I might just burst. It was like a complete yin and yang. I felt so terribly guilty for being happy to have her growing away in my belly when my other "daughter" did not (we don't know the lost baby's gender, but I always refer to her as a girl). When she was born healthy I felt a massive wave of relief and gratitude. Without the losses we'd suffered she would not be with us.
But during the 2.5 years that followed I sunk into a deep depression. One that was all encompassing of many of the hurts I'd suffered, including our miscarriage. I forgot to love my kids, but especially Ivy. She was a somewhat difficult baby, a bad sleeper and a loud cryer. I forgot that I fought so hard to have her. Forgot that she WAS my blessing.
Ivy is the reason and the blessing. Sometimes I just need a reminder. Today is a reminder.
Her pregnancy was blissfully uneventful after the 8 week mark when we thought we'd lost her. I was happy as a clam. I found out I was having a daughter and wept tears of such pure joy that I thought I might just burst. It was like a complete yin and yang. I felt so terribly guilty for being happy to have her growing away in my belly when my other "daughter" did not (we don't know the lost baby's gender, but I always refer to her as a girl). When she was born healthy I felt a massive wave of relief and gratitude. Without the losses we'd suffered she would not be with us.
But during the 2.5 years that followed I sunk into a deep depression. One that was all encompassing of many of the hurts I'd suffered, including our miscarriage. I forgot to love my kids, but especially Ivy. She was a somewhat difficult baby, a bad sleeper and a loud cryer. I forgot that I fought so hard to have her. Forgot that she WAS my blessing.
Ivy is the reason and the blessing. Sometimes I just need a reminder. Today is a reminder.
Friday, December 31, 2010
day thirty
For the first time since The Sales started Ivy and I hit the shops. I'm not much of a Sales person, I can think of nothing worse and more panic-inducing than lining up to crowd into Myer at 6am on Boxing Day *shudder* No. Thanks. Not. Ever.
But, I do enjoy slow browsing just wondering. Especially on my own. But my second favourite person to shop with is Ivy. She doesn't complain (unlike her brother), doesn't have a timeline (unlike her father), and I can go into the shops that *I* want to go into for as long as I like. There wasn't a heap of specials to be had in the places I was looking - I was wanting to top up the kids wardrobes with basics - but still managed to pick up a few things. One of which was a rainbow skirt for Ivy. It was perfect. So her. And it matches her rainbow sandals. And I'm concerned that I'll never ever ever be able to get he to wear anything else.
(Excuse the child surrounded by bras. God knows why I took the photo there. She kept looking at all the bras saying "boobies Mummy, look at all these boobies!")
But, I do enjoy slow browsing just wondering. Especially on my own. But my second favourite person to shop with is Ivy. She doesn't complain (unlike her brother), doesn't have a timeline (unlike her father), and I can go into the shops that *I* want to go into for as long as I like. There wasn't a heap of specials to be had in the places I was looking - I was wanting to top up the kids wardrobes with basics - but still managed to pick up a few things. One of which was a rainbow skirt for Ivy. It was perfect. So her. And it matches her rainbow sandals. And I'm concerned that I'll never ever ever be able to get he to wear anything else.
day twenty-seven
After a busy couple of days and one feral child and one tired child, we spent a blissful day at home. Doing nothing. It was peaceful. It was quiet. It was just what we needed. Playing with new toys and discovering just how much the children had been given from Santa and relatives.
Ivy had been given a box of dress-ups by my Mum, and it was topped up on Boxing Day with such treasures as those revolting plastic shoes, earrings and tiaras. All the usual stuff that sends little girls wild. Ivy was happy to wear the shoes briefly and then preferred to play with the jewellery box she got instead, putting her "jewels" into and out of it repetitively. I have to admit I was quietly a teensy bit pleased that she wasn't super interested in the princess dresses or barbie outfits. And preferred to wear the shoes with her tracky pants. It's nice to have her as a baby a little bit longer. As I have no doubt that the princess phase is not far away.
Ivy had been given a box of dress-ups by my Mum, and it was topped up on Boxing Day with such treasures as those revolting plastic shoes, earrings and tiaras. All the usual stuff that sends little girls wild. Ivy was happy to wear the shoes briefly and then preferred to play with the jewellery box she got instead, putting her "jewels" into and out of it repetitively. I have to admit I was quietly a teensy bit pleased that she wasn't super interested in the princess dresses or barbie outfits. And preferred to wear the shoes with her tracky pants. It's nice to have her as a baby a little bit longer. As I have no doubt that the princess phase is not far away.
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