Friday, December 17, 2010
day seventeen
In a couple of days we have our annual Mothers Group Christmas break up. But this year it doesn't feel like there is much to break up from. Well, for me anyway. In terms of mothers group gatherings it's been a quiet year. Last year and the preceding years it was a Friday ritual. We'd play swapsies at different houses. There would be copious amounts of caffeinated drinks (or non-caffeine for some), lunch, snacks, barnies amongst the kids, much laughter and tears.
It wasn't the mothers group I started out with. My original one dissipated after about 12 months, which is pretty good going I guess. I know some of the girls are still very firm friends and I'm so glad for them. But after I first met Brooke when our babies were 6 or 7 months old (or somewhere thereabouts) we pretty much clicked and became fast friends. Then over time I managed to weasel my way into her mothers group. Slowly slowly at first. You can't rush these things you see... But eventually I was welcomed as a full time member, I'd stepped up from a casual visitor. I don't remember exactly when or how it happened, but I fell so hard for these girls and their kids.
Their little nucleus that changed in number and eventually settled at 4. We talked about anything and everything. We were an institution. We turned up, week in week out and we loved it. It was my end of week celebration, I made it through another week without killing myself or my kids.
Eventually the morning teas became lunch. The lunch became all day. We'd hang out until we had to get home to partners wanting us. For the other girls it was a matter of simply walking down the street and in their doors. Not quite so simple for me, about a 5 min drive, but still no biggie.
After a time mothers group became more than a bunch of women with their children. To me they became my life source. During my miscarriages. When Ivy was born. Before I was diagnosed with PND and then after. Those women carried me through some of the darkest hours of my life. They cooked for me, supported me and cheered my triumphs. They cried with me and tended to my hurts. They were the best bunch of women anyone could hope to have in their group of mothers.
This year all our little May babies trotted off to kinder. Only the other kids went to a different kinder together and Elliot went elsewhere. Despite them all trying to get me enrol Elliot at the same kinder as the other kids, decided that it would be silly, seeing as they are 2 suburbs away.
This year our mothers group all but snuffed out. There were no more Fridays. There were no more long lunches with supportive and encouraging women waiting for me at the end of a long week. There was just a long long week stretching out in front of me, every single week. There were some times, mostly on school holidays, when we could organise ourselves to work around our varied schedules. But for the most part it obviously just wasn't the same. And couldn't be the same.
This weekend we are having a Christmas party. And it does feel like a break up of sorts. But I truly hope that once the kids are all settled in at school next year and on the same schedule that maybe we'll be able to have more catch-ups again.
I've missed them all so so much this year. So much.
It wasn't the mothers group I started out with. My original one dissipated after about 12 months, which is pretty good going I guess. I know some of the girls are still very firm friends and I'm so glad for them. But after I first met Brooke when our babies were 6 or 7 months old (or somewhere thereabouts) we pretty much clicked and became fast friends. Then over time I managed to weasel my way into her mothers group. Slowly slowly at first. You can't rush these things you see... But eventually I was welcomed as a full time member, I'd stepped up from a casual visitor. I don't remember exactly when or how it happened, but I fell so hard for these girls and their kids.
Their little nucleus that changed in number and eventually settled at 4. We talked about anything and everything. We were an institution. We turned up, week in week out and we loved it. It was my end of week celebration, I made it through another week without killing myself or my kids.
Eventually the morning teas became lunch. The lunch became all day. We'd hang out until we had to get home to partners wanting us. For the other girls it was a matter of simply walking down the street and in their doors. Not quite so simple for me, about a 5 min drive, but still no biggie.
After a time mothers group became more than a bunch of women with their children. To me they became my life source. During my miscarriages. When Ivy was born. Before I was diagnosed with PND and then after. Those women carried me through some of the darkest hours of my life. They cooked for me, supported me and cheered my triumphs. They cried with me and tended to my hurts. They were the best bunch of women anyone could hope to have in their group of mothers.
This year all our little May babies trotted off to kinder. Only the other kids went to a different kinder together and Elliot went elsewhere. Despite them all trying to get me enrol Elliot at the same kinder as the other kids, decided that it would be silly, seeing as they are 2 suburbs away.
This year our mothers group all but snuffed out. There were no more Fridays. There were no more long lunches with supportive and encouraging women waiting for me at the end of a long week. There was just a long long week stretching out in front of me, every single week. There were some times, mostly on school holidays, when we could organise ourselves to work around our varied schedules. But for the most part it obviously just wasn't the same. And couldn't be the same.
This weekend we are having a Christmas party. And it does feel like a break up of sorts. But I truly hope that once the kids are all settled in at school next year and on the same schedule that maybe we'll be able to have more catch-ups again.
I've missed them all so so much this year. So much.
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